You’re going to find that all the crap people give you in the first few months requires a tiny screwdriver, and none of your regular ones will work.
After feeling so wanted and needed when she wants a baby, get ready to feel utterly useless for a few years once she has the baby. Just learn to accept the feeling. It will pass. The best thing you can do for mother and baby is provide a full pantry inside a stable home where they can be safe and happy. That is your one job, to provide that. Understand there will be a lot of hormonal changes that will transform her into a mother while you feel like you’re somehow still just a stupid little boy groveling for attention. It’s best to stay out of the way and go above and beyond with no expectations of any kind of reciprocation. You will be repaid gloriously in the years to come as the true meaning of life comes into focus. A steadfast and quiet patience will be your best tool in these coming days.
Women struggle physically in the transformation but the severity with which men struggle mentally should not be underrated. Our culture makes it taboo to announce this struggle, but you can have solace in knowing that you instantly join the worldwide fraternity of fathers who all know exactly what you’re going through without having to say a word.
She will be focused on fine-tuning her mothering powers and that can be frustrating for a superhero, so you should focus on not having the final word, learning to trust her newfound intuition, and leading from behind to create stability and security for her to nurture that baby. You will soon realize nothing else matters as you discover what true love feels like. The love for your child will be instant, but only like a candle’s flame in the dark. Don’t worry about the awkwardness of how small this flame feels in comparison to the instantly magnetic bond that mother will appear to have with the baby. With time that flame grows into a raging fire, and you will finally realize that you’ve never experienced love in any real way until God gave you this child. It is that raging love for your children which truly melds two people in marriage. You will start to love her in a different way because she is the mother of your child. You both will grasp the reality of mortality more each day because you are witnessing the cycle of life start all over again, and you will strive to live vicariously through your child. One thing nobody tells you is how sad you will feel looking at old photos of your kids.
That’s all the important stuff, but there are tons of other new experiences in store for you. Get ready to feel weird being called Dad. Get ready for the dad jokes to flow, for it’s our rite of passage into fatherhood. Get ready to not sleep well for a long time. Get ready for life because you’ll realize it’s only just begun.