Nobody cares about your story until they do. I’ve tried to spin up the right arrangement of words to convey a feeling and failed more times than I can count. The thing about art is you have to keep doing it and do it only for yourself. Proliferation is the only method by which you can succeed.
I don’t know. I am nobody to you and I’m writing this series of words far in advance of the moment you’re reading them. So, it’s safe to say I’ve put some thought into what I will consider to be final. Aside from a typo or poor wording choice, the choices I’m making now will impact your life, later, which is now, for you.
I promise you I do have a story to tell; I’ve got several stories to tell. I may combine them all into this one, which may be one-hundred percent truth, or I may embellish a fanciful image with some portion of truth just to color it a deeper shade of red — or blue; I haven’t decided.
I’ve developed this incredible way to time-travel where I envision myself in the future based on what I’m planning to do. I imagine my future self, and I’m looking back into the past, which is this moment I’m in right now. When I eventually get to that moment in my future, I look back into the past and remember how I felt in that moment before; I connect that bridge in time and it’s like I can go back and forth.
I haven’t always done this, but when I started, time started moving really slowly for me to the point where I feel like my daughter has been two years old going on about three years now. I also quit drinking when she was one-and-a-half, so, there’s that.
Another nifty time-traveling trick is to never wish for anything. When you speak a wish into the universe you are telling the energies that you are not content right now, and they will begin moving in ways to effect change to grant your wish. Be careful what you wish for in life. Be so careful, that maybe don’t even wish for anything. My four-year-old is not potty trained yet, and I will refuse to wish that he’d hurry that up; I don’t want to expedite the timeline. I want to savor every single drop of each moment.
I don’t know what love is, though, I have a pretty good idea with my children. With my parents, love is an attachment of habit. My wife, it’s a love that’s dwindled from passion and grown into strength. But with my kids, love is the very breath of life that touches my lungs and seeps into the bellows of my soul. There is no other purpose but to see them happy, safe, and fulfilled.
Nobody tells you how much it will hurt to see old pictures of your kids. I always heard how hard it is to see them grow up, but never anything specific about how looking at a picture can rip your heart out. But without my Aquarius-ass wife who loves taking photos, I would never have half the documentations I have of all these pages of life with my kids. But I don’t know if we were supposed to remember every memory so vividly; I think we are supposed to remember the significant memories that our brain decides to imprint on our mind’s eye.
Some Native American tribes used to fear having their pictures taken, they said it captured a piece of their soul. They also didn’t cut their hair because it helped them stay in tune more with the energies of the universe. This makes me think of grounding, where you walk barefoot on the earth to align your energy.
We can’t say these things are definitively true because we don’t understand the box that we’re in. Have you ever asked what’s at the edge of the universe? What’s on the other side? If this is all just a simulation, well, then, is that world also in a simulation?
It doesn’t matter. The questions will never end. So, I’m creating my own simulation in my own timeline, with my own universe.